“[good]men:

works> in > progress”

2024-Today: “[good]men: works > in > progress”

Beyond [bon]fire’s design and strategy projects, I host a wide range of experiences designed for “[good]men” (see below).

Intentions:

  • design experiences that foster genuine connection through purposeful conversation to

  • seek genuine alignment across the many “works > in > progress” (see below) across our lives.

Experiences:

  • often take place as guided half-day hikes out on forest trails (or even on urban sidewalks).

  • just enough time and distance to hit pause on life. Get outside. Break a sweat. Be curious and open up. Engage others in meaningful conversations.

  • sometimes we just sit together by a fire at night or early in the morning; at other times we meet online, connecting across national and global time zones.

Defining “[good]men” -

This actually has nothing to do with ‘good’ vs. ‘bad’.

I use the phrase “[good]men” to recognize all the men who positively guide my thinking and actions.

They are far from perfect, but they continue forward with the many “works > in > progress” in their lives despite not knowing how they’ll unfold.

Nor are they always like me. But they always spark insights and growth as I learn from them.

I also find that most men are not used to being called a “[good]man”. It catches them off-guard. It causes them to pause. It causes them to be open. And curious.

Defining “works > in > progress” -

Technically, any type of work that one is trying to make progress on in life counts.

Hobbies. Family. Health. Spirituality. Career. Emotions. Adventure. Identity. Marriage. Friendship. Parenting. Being an adult child of aging parents. Out in the garage. Deep in the heart.

The key: it’s “work” and we’re trying to “make progress”.

It’s not about expertise. It’s not about what has already been solved.

It’s not clear how it’ll play out. It’s not clear if it’ll play out.

The deeper learning lies in the process itself, a constant growing and sense-making.

In the future, I’ll also be:

  • hosting immersive “[good]men: works > in > progress” retreats (full-day, multi-day, and week-long)

  • partnering on “[good]men: works > in > progress” collaborations with other leaders and organizations

  • facilitating an online community of “[good]men: works > in > progress” members

2020-2022: B+B+Be-Quarantined / “Oh, Sh*t Sessions”

We had sold our farm and moved across the country. While I had work colleagues and a few neighbors, I had ‘lost’ the group of good men who used to show up once a month. I missed my tribe. And the conversations by the fire.

Then Covid happened. After only 2 weeks of schools and offices shutting, I could tell I was getting anxious. I needed an outlet; I could tell I needed the good men in my life.

I sent an email out to over 400 men I knew from all stages of my life and career. Invited them to a 30-minute Zoom call. Called it “Bourbon + Bonfire + Be-Quarantined” (aka “B+B+B”). People showed up. And they showed up the next week. And the week after and the week after that. Guys even brought other guys I had never met. The tribe grew. The connections deepened.

It soon became 2x a 2x-a-month online experience I was designing for men from around the world. 4 hours on my Friday nights and 4 hours on my Saturday mornings to account for all the time zones involved.

After a few months, the gathering was renamed the “Oh, Sh*t Sessions”. We began hosting world-class speakers and collectively explored the moments in life — like Covid —when we had no idea how things would unfold. Our expertise mattered less and less. We stopped trying to provide answers or debate nuances. We focused instead on asking better questions. And listening to each other.

18 months later, like Forrest Gump suddenly stopping his run, I needed to stop. I was tired. But I knew I wanted to catch my breath and try it again one day.

“[good]men. | works.in.progress.” eventually emerged as a work.in.progress. in its own right.

2016-2019: Bourbon+Bonfire

For several years, I hosted a monthly “Bourbon + Bonfire” gathering.

A diverse group of men who lived within an hour’s drive joined. Rain, snow, or clear nights alike. We met up down by my pond on my farm. Lit a fire.

It began as a casual social night fueled by trying and learning about (small-batch) bourbon. Over time, however, I became less and less interested in the bourbon.

I became more and more interested in the genuine conversations that slowly emerged. The questions that were asked. The ways each man shared. I became more and more interested in how the men allowed themselves to be known over time.

That became the start of all that followed.